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Welcome to my predictions column for the 2007 installment of WWEs SummerScamoops, I mean SummerScamoops again I mean SummerScamdamn it I dont know why it keeps coming out like that but who am I to argue?

Fit Finlay Vs. Kane
I believe this feud has been mainly Kane beating Fits ass. Im going to predict these 2 feud for a bit and so the Midget will cost Kane the match and will be on the receiving end of big-time all-time all his life fustigation.
Winner: Finlay

Divas Battle Royal, winner earns a shot at Candice Michelles womens championship
When the winner gets said shot I have no idea and to be honest, I dont really give a fuckstigation either. I do however have a message for the Michelle McCoolbot.

10101100011100101010101011000011010101. For those who dont get the joke, thats called Binary and its basically a programming language.

Oh right, a winner. Well, it is hard to pick one of the nameless and personalityless divas because it is hard to distinguish them but Im going to say either Melina or Jillian and Im going with Melina.
Winner: Melina

Intercontinental Championship: Mr. Kennedy Vs. Carlito Vs. Umaga
Oh good, this match. This was to be Umaga and Jeff Hardy but life interrupted that one. Kennedys going to move on to bigger and better things and Carlito is only good at spitting apples. Lets say that this match does not make me love dubble-dubble-e. Actually, lets say WWE pulls the TNA finish for 3-way matches and has Kennedy go over Carlito thus not jobbing Umaga.
Winner: Kennedy

ECW Championship Match: CM Punk Vs. John Morrison
This is like ECWs only feud. What happened to Elijah Burke and where the hell is Marcus Cor Von? I dont really care where he is but Ive got to pad this column somehow.
As for a winner, I dont really think it matters since the feud is continuing. Though since Big Daddy V fustigated CM Punk a few weeks ago shouldnt this be his shot? Ill take Punk not that either is a winner for being on ECW.
Winner: CM Punk

Chavo Guerrero Jr. Vs. Rey Mysterio
Hey, its the other shorter guy who is making his return at this show to much less hype than the bigger guy on the A show. I wonder what Rey will look like now that the Astin gravy train is under house arrest? Hopefully he stocked up the way Benoit did or else it could be a factor in this match. WWE would be TNA if Rey lost this match.
Winner: Rey Mysterio

World Heavyweight Championship: Batista Vs. Great Khali
I wish Euan all the luck in the world for reviewing this horrible horrible match. Nothing good will come from this regardless of who is victorious. Khali is great at interviews which is one more thing than Batista is great at. Although apparently he buries everyone he hates in his book so that could be fun. Big Dave is getting the belt because hes big and even though Khali is also big, Big Dave is smaller and thus him winning the belt will be proof WWE is pushing smaller sports entertainers.
Winner: Batista

King Booker Vs. The King of Kings, HHH
Its time to do the job, its time to dooooooooooooo the jaaaaaaaaaaaaaabbb! Hahahaha! Its all about the job, and how you do it, youre not going over so dont just boo hoo it. Thats a verse from the new HHH theme song of course done by Motorhead.
Winner: HHH

WWE Championship Match: Randy Orton Vs. John Cena
At first I was so sure that Randy Orton was going to win the title. Now, Im not so sure of that if for no other reason than where do you go from here? Long term planning is for Kennedy to fight the H man for the belt at Wrestlemania and so that means one of them has to get it. Given that theyd probably want to do the title switch at Mania, that would mean that Kennedy will get the belt soon to drop it to the H man at Mania cause I dont see the H man doing another Mania job in a row.
So if Kennedy is getting the belt and God well all be begging for Cena again when that happens it would make more sense for him to beat Cena than it would for him to beat Orton. Plus, Orton has pretty much made Cena his bitch this entire feud and WWEs not just gonna let the golden boy (only one whos not married in to the family BTW) get dominated in a feud and then get punked out in the match. Im not ruling out an Orton title win here but something tells me that Cena keeps it at least so he can get to the year mark.
I'm editing this prediction. I still believe everything you just read is true, but last night everyone else picked a Randy to win but me and it bit me in the ass. I'll not have this happen to me 2 nights in a row, so I'm changing my mind to Orton.
Winner: Randy Orton

Good luck to Euan who will actually be paying for the right to write about this @#%$. Hope you enjoyed my SummerScamdamn it I really do mean SummerScam@#%$ did it again, ok this time for sureI hope you enjoyed my predictions for SummerScam 2007. Damn it! If you want to see the rest of the staffs picks, if they bother to make any, Click Here