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This is my in depth preview for UFC 70 Nations Collide so I hope you bastards appreciate it. This show is unique in that you have 10 matches on the card and no match feature fighters from the same country fighting. I realize some of you may have thought that obvious, but hey if guys are stupid enough to fail drug tests they know are coming then I can feel free to point out the obvious.

Welterweight Bout (Dark):
Edilberto Crocota: 24, 6'0, 170, 8-0-1
Last UFC Bout: This is his UFC Debut.
Vs.
"Relentless" Paul Taylor: 27, 6'0, 170, 6-1-1
Last UFC Bout: This is his UFC Debut.

The first of several bouts where they are both making their UFC debuts.

We begin our in depth examinations of the fights on this card by looking at each fighter. I dont expect all of my roundtables to be as detailed as this one in the future so in other words, dont get used to it.

Edilberto Crocota which sounds like a name pulled out of the bag of scrabble tiles is first up. Lets see if we can detect any wackiness in his UFC.com Q&A as I believe wackiness can play a factor in a fight.

Well, we do learn a few things like the fact that one of his strengths is being calm in a fight. If he acquires that trait the same way as Nick Diaz then expect a drug test failure.

However, we do learn a few other important things.

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Thoughts on opponent, Paul Taylor? I don't know him, never heard about him, the only thing I know is his record.

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He doesnt seem at all bothered by this.

He also had a tough time of it growing up from the sounds of this question.

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What was your job before you started fighting? I used to work in the plantation to earn some money. In 2003 I met Master Dorea, who I train with. I came
to Salvador City and he gave me a place to stay and food. Today I live with him; he is like my second father.

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His highest profile victory in my view well, I cant pick one but there sure are some wacky names here. This is very much unlike an example I touch on further down the card.

Hes won 3 times by TKO, 4 times via submission and gone the distance twice winning once.

Looking at Mr. Taylors Q&A it appears that he cant be related to Euan because theres a distinct lack of wackiness. He does however, answer the technique question in a way that ties him with someone further down the show for best answer ever.

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What is your favorite technique? The winning one

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He says his strength is relentless endurance, which suggests to me that hes taking uppers and is also a candidate to fail a drug test.

His highest profile victory came at UD 1-Urban Destruction 1 on 4/10/2005 against Zelg Galesic. I was going to say it was beating Jess Liaudin by decision but Ive seen Zelg fight so that wins out. I should also note that Paul Taylor went to a draw with someone named Matt Ewin. Yeah, I know its not Matt Euan but how weird would that have been?

Taylor has 3 TKOs to his credit, 2 submissions and 1 decision victory. His only defeat was a submission loss. Theres a joke in here about people with the last name of Taylor quitting on a project but Ill be damned if I can think of what it is or why its a joke right now.

As for the prediction, because of Paul Taylors name and his proximity to Euan there is a temptation to pick him to win this fight. However, I just cant do it given one last thing from Crocotas profile.

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Do you have any heroes? Minotauro Nogueira and Anderson Silva, who are my training partners in boxing here.

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His hero is Anderson Silva, who like myself has to give you permission to worship him, so clearly Edilberto is a special fighter indeed.
Winner: Edilberto Crocota

Welterweight Bout (Dark):
Dennis Siver: 28, 5'7, 170, 10-3-0
Last UFC Bout: This is his UFC Debut.
Vs.
Jess "The Joker" Liaudin: 33, 5'9, 170, 10-8-0
Last UFC Bout: This is his UFC Debut.

Have I mentioned being an A student for 3 of 4 years in German? Well, that has nothing to do with this fight, but sometimes I need to brag.

Starting our examination of this fight via the technique of copy/paste were going to look at Dennis Siver. His UFC Q&A offers up the following clues. He is not fond of the wackiness as all of his answers are pretty straight forward, just what Id expect out of someone with his heritage.

His highest profile victory, I have no idea. So this is another of the fights where you can decide for yourself.

He has 6 submission victories, 2 TKOs and 2 decision wins. All 3 of his losses have come by submission, and to be honest this worries me a bit given my prediction down the page.

Looking at Liaudin, from his Q&A I have decided that he has earned his nickname from the first 2 answers I quote below and the third clinches it because this man speaks to something I will mention later which is that school is for morons.

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What is your favorite technique? Whatever my opponent least expects: leg locks, heel hooks & spinning back fists all felt good to me in 2006.
What does it mean for you to fight in the UFC? Achieving a lifelong dream...I first put my application in to fight in the UFC in 1994...must be a huge pile
of application forms on Dana's desk, because it took the guys 13 years to work through it and eventually call me up...now that I'm here though, I intend
to stick around and do some damage.
Did you go to college and if so what degree did you earn? I left school at 14 years old.

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Im not sure about his high-profile win, but he has lost to Paul Taylor from the above fight and has also lost to Shonie Carter. I think his class of opponents is higher than that of Siver.

Liaudin has won 7 of his 10 bouts by submission, 2 via decision and 1 TKO. Hes been Knocked Out 5 times, lost 2 decisions and being a Frenchmen amazingly only submitted once. You know the French just introduced a new national flag right? It is a white cross on a white background, and they will soon be proudly flying it high.

As much as I like Liaudin, history may have sealed his fait.

Im going to predict a victory for Dennis Siver. The reason is quite simple. Siver is fighting out of Germany and was born in Russia; while Jess Liaudin is French. Every time the Germans and French get together for a throwdown, the Germans win. Liaudin may be a great fighter, he could be the best fighter ever, a man able to look at Fedor and make him submit from his stare. But even if he were that good, it would not matter. Siver is Russian born and German trained and that is not a good combination for the French. As a result Im going to predict that Siver is going to humble this man so very badly. Given that this is Germany Vs. France Im almost tempted to call this a submission win or a forfeit.
Winner: Dennis Siver

Light Heavyweight Bout (dark):
Victor "The Matrix" Valimaki: 25, 6'0, 205, 9-3-0
Last UFC Bout: At UFC Fight Night 7 (12/13/2006) lost to David Heath via split decision at 5:00 of Round 3.
Vs.
Alessio "Legionarius" Sakara: 25, 6'1, 205, 10-5-0
Last UFC Bout: At UFC 65 (11/18/2006) lost to Drew McFedries via TKO at 4:07 of Round 1.

A fight where both men are coming off of losses in their last UFC bouts. This is not the first instance of this on this show. Sakara is on a 2 fight losing streak in UFC.

Victor Valimaki is first to get the Casey Examination which I should note is no where near as gay as an Old Country Humbling. Unfortunately, it is also no where near as famous or profitable so it sucks to be me.

The Q&A reveals some great things about this man.

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TRAINING: Vicious brutal training. My main training partner is Jason "The Athlete" MacDonald and some top level pro boxers and National level wrestlers
and some really good Jiu-Jitsu guys. You mix that around and throw in the madness of my trainer Mark Pavelich and 9 out of 10 people are getting their
feelings hurt.

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Thoughts on opponent, Alessio Sakara? Hes a good boxer, but I believe I'm on my way up and he's in my way, and that's unfortunate for him.

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Yeah, this man understands whats up!

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Do you have any heroes? Arnold and Randy Couture

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Who the @#%$ is Arnold Couture? That cant be Randys less successful brother can it? Are we looking at the Clint Howard of the MMA world?

His highest profile victory came at MFC 8-Resurrection on 9/9/2005 when he earned a decision win over Dan Severn. Of course, it was 2005 and not 1995 so it is not as impressive as it sounds.

He has 4 decision victories, 2 via submission and 3 via TKO. Hes lost via TKO once and decision twice. I see he is associated with Sniper Shootwrestling which sounds like the name of an MMA Street gang.

Moving on to his opponent Alessio Sakara. I find it interesting that Sakara unlike most people is actually asked about his hobbies and favorite movie in his Q&A. However, the wackiness is hard to come by but it is found in the last question.

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What is your biggest weapon in a fight?
"UISQUE AD FINEM. In Latin it means "never give up". Until the last second of the fight I can knock out my opponent.

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I think his biggest weapon is knowing Latin. He could trash talk his opponent in a fight without them knowing. I mean can you be sure that the phrase maximus fucktarderous is an insult?

His highest profile victory is probably over Elvis Sinosic at UFC 57 on 02/04/2006. He won a decision victory. Half of his fights have ended in TKOs he has 2 submission wins and 3 decision victories. Hes lost via TKO once, decision and submission twice each.

As for my prediction, I am going to go with Valimaki because hes trained with Jason MacDonald so maybe some of that has rubbed off on him? Actually, I lied Im picking Sakara because I want to and if youve got a problem with it then suckus myus cockus!
Winner: Alessio Sakara

Lightweight Bout (Dark):
Junior Assuncao: 25, 5'9, 155, 4-2-0
Last UFC Bout: At UFC 64 (10/14/2006) lost to Kurt Pellegrino via submission at 2:04 of Round 1.
Vs.
David Lee: 28, 5'10, 155, 5-2-0
Last UFC Bout: At UFC 63 (09/23/2006) lost to Tyson Griffin via submission at 1:50 of round 1.

First I pay attention to Junior Assuncao. I have determined a couple of things from his Q&A. Firstly, he is a fan of the Iron Sheik.

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Do you have any heroes? GOD, and my brothers.

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God is code for God, Jesus and Mr. McMahon. My brothers is code for Most Black Brothers in the vold.

Secondly, he is a liar because he had to proclaim his Sheiky love in code. I dont blame him for this in case Sheiky should come around for a humbling. However, the second lie he tells there is no excuse for at all.

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Did you go to college and if so what degree did you earn? No, but Ive learned education is very important though.

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He is lying about this. If you are a fifth grader and reading this, well first off Hi Ric!, but second once the school year is over you may promptly quit because you already know more than youll ever need to use.

I should also note he lists his strength as heart which to me means, Im not really good at anything.

His highest profile victory comes over Dustin Hazalett at FT 3-Full Throttle 3 on 07/15/2005 via TKO. This is his only KO victory and he has 3 submissions to his credit. He has lost via submission in the UFC and his first fight was a decision loss.

His opponent is a man named David Lee. I shall not reproduce his entire Q&A here as this is going to be a long ass column, but I do think it is worth reading completely because of the wackiness of this man. The prime quote though:

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DESCRIBE A TYPICAL DAY OF TRAINING: Tough and sweaty

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He clearly trains in the pornographic industry.

His highest profile win? Once again you can pick one.

I find it interesting that every fight he has been in has ended in a submission. All 5 victories come by submission and both losses as well. Yes, these are the types of things I find interesting, and no Im not surprised Im still single but thanks for the concern.

I want to pick David Lee to win but I just cant because of the use of the phrase: Woo Wee. Therefor, Im picking the liar over the wacky man.
Winner: Junior Assuncao

Lightweight Bout (Dark):
Matt "The Real One" Grice: 25, 5'8, 155, 8-0-0
Last UFC Bout: This is his UFC debut.
Vs.
Terry Etim: 21, 6'1, 155, 7-0-0
Last UFC Bout: This is his UFC debut.

Looking at Matt Grice, this is what Ive learned from his UFC profile. Hes probably a pretty good wrestler being a former state champion and all. However, Im going to have to comment on this.

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What is your favorite technique? -

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Now Euan tends to give people points when they do not come right out with their favorite technique. He says giving it away on the internet is not a good strategy. However, Im not sure thats what weve got here because of a follow-up question.

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Did you go to college and if so what degree did you earn? I went to the University of Oklahoma and earned a Bachelors degree in sociology.

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Sociology major, do I even need to continue?

His most high-profile victory came at Ultimate Texas Shootout 4 on 02/24/2006. He defeated Shervin Alavi at that show. Why is this his most high-profile victory? If you look at his list you will see the most ordinary group of names ever. This victory is highest profile to me because his name sticks out like a sore thumb among the Joe Davis and Jason Andersons of the world.

Hes won 3 fights by KO, 3 by submission and 2 by decision. Im ok with this. After all, I am a champion of diversity!

I must also say I'm relieved we're getting Matt Grice "The Real 1" no impostors better be up in here.

Moving on to Terry Etim. The thing that stands out from his Q&A is that I love this man. Why? Well, if youd stop asking questions and just reading youd find out, so shut your mouth and move on.

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What is your favorite technique? Winning

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I think this may be the best answer to that question ever.

However, the love is true from this one.

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Did you go to college and if so what degree did you earn? No

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I raspact this more than sociology major any day of the week.

His most high profile win came on 03/18/2006 at WCFC-No Guts No Glory when he defeated Diego Gonzalez. He did this despite the attempted interference of Diegos brother Giant. See, thats Giant Gonzalez so laugh Bitch!

He has won 6 of his bouts by submission with 1 KO. His KO victory was actually in his first fight.

So for my prediction, given that Grice majored in sociology and even though hes a native of Oklahoma is not sponsored by Jim Ross restaurant and given Terry Etim is a great man, he will win via humbling. Note, that as these guys are wrestlers this will not be Huerta-Garcia all over again in my view.
Winner: Terry Etim

Heavyweight Bout:
Assuerio Silva: 32, 6'1, 240, 12-5-0
Last UFC Bout: At UFC 60 (05/27/2006) lost to Brandon Vera via submission at 2:39 of Round 1.
Vs.
Cheick Kongo: 31, 6'4, 240, 19-2-1
Last UFC Bout: at UFC 64 (10/14/2006) lost to Carmelo Merrero via split decision at 5:00 of Round 3.

In this fight both men are coming off losses and so whomever loses might be in some trouble as it relates to their future in UFC. This is I think more true for Silva as he is 0 and 2 but they have come against Tim Sylvia and Brandon Vera not exactly pushovers.

A couple things jump out at me from Silvas Q&A. Firstly, the fact is that hes kind of boring. Hopefully he fights more interesting than he interviews. Secondly, Im not sure I believe him in regards to his answer to the question about his training.

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TRAINING: I am training hard everyday. My training consists of everything.

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I mean does he train at Old Country Shootiering? How about Hungarian saucage stuffing? I realize that these arent necessarily fighting disciplines but he did say that he trains in everything.

His highest profile win is either over Yoshihisa Yamamoto at Pride 16 or over Alessio Sakara at Jungle Fight 3. Given that his Pride victory was in 11 seconds and took place in Pride Ill go with that one. His favorite technique is kicking and punching, so in that regard hes kind of like Kevin Nash. However, 50% of his fights have been won via submission, and that would equal 6 for the mathematically challenged, hi Ric! Hes got 4 KO victories and 2 decisions on his record. Hes been knocked out once, been submitted twice and had 2 decision losses. In other words, he is not afraid to lose in any way possible and you have to respect that.

Moving on to Cheick Kongo. What helps his cause most is the fact that unlike his fellow countrymen Jess Liaudin, Kongo is not fighting a German. Therefor, he does have an actual chance.

As to what interests me about this man, 2 things spring forward from his UFC Q&A. Well 3 if you count the fact hes less boring than his opponent.

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What ranks and titles have you held? 2005 World Champion Federation King of the Rings

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Great Khali says that this is a lie as he is the only Ring of the King.

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What was your job before you started fighting? I was a commercial agent for a French brand.

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Brand of what? Cereal, Soda, Clothing or perhaps Tampons?

Kongos stats show hes had 7 KOs, 1 submission victory and 1 decision win. Looking at his losses weve got 2 by decision and 1 TKO. In a rarity for a Frenchmen, he has yet to submit in a fight. Perhaps he just lives there and is not Native born?

His highest profile victory to me is probably his victory at Rings Holland-The Untouchables over Dave Vader. I mean it isnt every day you get to fight Darths first cousin once removed.

As for my prediction as it is what really pays the bills, Im going with Silva. The reason is that Kongos last fight bored the @#%$ out of me and he lost it so this is my sign of not being able to forgive and forget.
Winner: Assuerio Silva

Heavyweight Bout:
Fabricio "Vai Cavalo" Werdum: 29, 6'4, 242, 9-2-1
Last UFC Bout: This is his UFC Debut.
Vs.
Andrei "The Pitbull" Arlovski: 28, 6'4, 240, 10-5-0
Last UFC Bout: At UFC 66 (12/30/2006) defeated Marcio Cruz via TKO at 3:15 of Round 1.

First thing that jumped out at me about Werdum came via his UFC.com Q&A.

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When and why did you start training for fighting? When? I started when I was 20. Why? All I can say is it involved a woman.

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This is hardly a shock to me and on the one hand he was willing to take a pounding for a woman but on the other she helped him find a career. He has fought some top competition including Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira. Hes won 5 fights via submission, 2 by TKO and 1 decision. Observers may note that if you add those up you only get 8 wins and his record is 9-2-1. Sherdog describes his other win as being by other and so Id prefer to think of it as an old school humbling which is not the same thing as an old country humbling as a chalkboard and erasers are involved. He has never been knocked out or made to submit losing twice by decision to the previously mentioned Nogueira and to Sergei Karitonov by split decision. MMA Weekly ranks him the #8 heavyweight in the world just behind his opponent Andrei Arlovski who comes in at #7.

Arlovski on the other hand is fighting for another shot at the title. Dana White recently said that should Arlovski win this fight hell get the winner of the Couture Vs. Cro Coperwell, it could be Gonzaga but its gonna be Cro Cop fight.

The key fact I learned about him from his UFC profile?

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Did you go to college and if so what degree did you earn? I graduated from the Police Academy.

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So this dude knows Tackleberry! Aside from that, he has won 7 of his 10 fights by KO and 3 by submission. Hes only ever gone the distance once and we all remember that fight with Tim Sylvia. I dont expect this to be a slugfest and while Werdum is a tough opponent to face to earn a title shot I dont expect a win for him.

I also want Arlovsky to do a victory speech. I cant wait for him to thank His sponsor Yes, that's a real sponsor of his.

I can see it now

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I like to thank Condomdepot.com, they help me to Knock Out opponent, while keeping from knocking up the beautiful women's. Heh Heh Heh

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Winner: Andrei Arlovski

Light Heavyweight Bout:
Michael "The Count" Bisping:: 26, 6'2, 205, 12-0-0
Last UFC Bout: At UFC 66 (12/30/2006) defeated Eric Schafer via TKO at 4:29 of Round 1.
Vs.
"The King of Rock N' Rumble" Elvis Sinosic: 36, 6'3, 205, 8-9-2
Last UFC Bout: At UFC 57 (02/04/2006) lost to Alessio Sakara via Unanimous Decision at 5:00 of Round 3.

Looking for Wackiness in the profile of the Count this is what I came across.

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Thoughts on upcoming opponent, Elvis Sinosic? Elvis is the right fight for me now. I am gaining experience all the time in the great big world of the UFC
and Elvis is a talented, tough guy, but I believe beatable. He fought recently in the U.K against Mark Epstein and won and has a lot of respect here, so
this is my first fight for the UFC in front of my own crowd against a fighter the fans will relate to. My confidence is growing all the time and I predict
another first round knockout, so I am sorry Elvis my friend, but you will be all shook up and checking into the heartbreak hotel.

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Thats awesome, but we also find out that he is a man of many hats.

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What was your job before you started fighting? I was an upholsterer, making furniture, when I switched to MMA. Before that, you name it, Ive done it,
but all the crappy jobs though, nothing too flamboyant. I was a slaughterman, builder, and laborer.

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More importantly though, we have something in common Bisping and I.

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Did you go to college and if so what degree did you earn? I went for a little bit and then left.

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Hopefully, it didnt take him as long to do it as it did myself.

Now moving on to his victimeropponent, Elvis Sinosic. Examining his Q&A for wackiness revealed the following:

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What is your favorite technique? Any submission.

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Any submission means theres a potential for a sheiky-style humbling.

Looking at what Elvis went to school for and what he did before UFC, it is clear why he decided that getting beaten up would be a better job.

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Did you go to college and if so what degree did you earn? Yes, I have a degree in Information Technology.
What was your job before you started fighting? I was an IT Support officer for a major international accounting firm. I now run a Martial Arts school with
my business and training partner, Anthony Perosh.

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His highest profile win is his victory over Eric Schafer at UFC 66.

Bisping has won 8 fights via TKO and 4 by submission, never going the distance.

Sinosics highest profile win would have to be over Jeremy Horn in his debut at UFC 30.

Hes got 3 TKO wins, 5 submission wins, hes been knocked out 3 times, submitted twice and lost 4 decisions.

Sinosic has fought some tough competition and lost to most of it. Hes a fighter with just enough credibility that Bisping winning wont seem too much like him just beating a nobody and yet hes got no real chance of winning in my view. However, having said that an upset would not surprise me because of all of them that have happened lately. Im just not brave enough to pick this one.
Winner: Michael Bisping

Light Heavyweight Bout:
David Heath: 31, 5'11, 205, 7-0-0
Last UFC Bout: At UFC Fight Night 7 (12/13/2006) defeated Victor Valimaki via split decision at 5:00 of Round 3.
Vs.
Ryoto Machida: 28, 6'1, 205, 9-0-0
Last UFC Bout: At UFC 67 (02/03/2007) defeated Sam Hoger via Unanimous Decision at 5:00 of round 3.

David Heath has a pretty consistent record. He has 3 wins by submission, 3 by Knockout and 1 that has gone the distance. His highest profile opponent up to this point would probably be Victor Valimaki in his last fight. In his UFC Q&A though he seems to be obsessed with the city of Tulsa and everyone knows thats a slut spelled backwards. Machida on the other hand has faced and beat the likes of Vernon White, Rich Franklin, B.J. Penn and Stephan Bonner. He has won 5 of his 9 bouts by decision and 3 by TKO. I think even though they were at different times, the level of competition lies with him. Heath has no hero while Machidas hero is his dad. Im going to say that both will want to stand and trade and that the winner will be the one who wins that battle. If it goes to the ground, tough to say who it favors. Im just going to go on a hunch and pick Machida. However, if David Heath can get Edge and Christian to reform the Brude in time then I may have to change my mind.
Winner: Ryoto Machida

Heavyweight Bout:
Gabriel "Napao" Gonzaga: 27, 6'1, 242, 7-1-0
Last UFC Bout: At UFC 66 (12/30/2006) defeated Carmello Marrero via submission at 3:22 of Round 1.
Vs.
Mirko Cro Cop: 32, 6'2, 220, 22-4-2
Last UFC Bout: At UFC 67 (02/03/2007) defeated Eddie Sanchez via TKO at 4:33 of Round 1.

Looking at Gabriel Gonzagas career, 2 things stand out. The first is that his only loss in MMA so far is via TKO to Fabricio Werdum who is also fighting on this show and is Gonzagas most high profile opponent. Second is that he fought and defeated Charlie Brown. How dare he defeat an American icon? Isnt it bad enough that hes got to deal with Lucy pulling the football away from him? Gonzaga has never gone the distance, winning by submission 5 times and TKO twice. I dont expect this to be a long fight either.
As far as Cro Cop goes I think we all are well enough acquainted with his skills. Gonzaga better not try to stand and trade if he wants to be Coutures next challenger. I dont see any reason to think hes going to win though and Im predicting Cro Cop by first round Knockout.
Winner: Mirko Cro Cop

Euan will have a report on this show, but I will weigh-in with my thoughts after I view it.